apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
