his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
