Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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