Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
