My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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