my vag is so smooth its legendary
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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