Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
