god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
