I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I faked an abortion last night.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
