please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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