Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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