I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
