Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
