I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
