Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
We need to get me chipped asap
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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