I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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