It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Randomize
