Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
