There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
