Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
