she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
