you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
