Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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