every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
