GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
