my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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