If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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