Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
