..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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