Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
