just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
