Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
