They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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