But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
They have beer where we have blood.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
