if only i could text you this smell
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
