Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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