Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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