a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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