I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
