Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Blood and glitter go together right?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
