i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
