I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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