you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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