i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
