But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
