I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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