But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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