is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
