i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
