You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
