wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
