do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
