Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
